Engaged: He Liked it, Put A Ring On it, So He Better Marry it!
Jul 7, 2010 Featured
Posted by
Nikki
The spark for this blog came from the wonderfully juice and drama filled show- Basketball Wives. I know, an odd source, but the show demonstrated the ideal concept of this blog, marriage. Because she and her situation illustrates my argument so well, the muse I will use is the cast member Gloria. Which leads me to my question. Is a marriage certificate an agreement of love or entitlement. If it is either/or, can it encompass the other?
On one episode cast member Gloria tells another cast member Royce she will never be wifey made. Hearing that statement made me analyze Gloria’s situation. She is the mother of three children and engaged to NBA player- Matt Barnes. She believes everyone is jealous of her because she has the ideal relationship. Not to mention she stands by her sister who was reported to have had and alleged affair with Shaq.
Revisiting the jealousy accusation carried by Gloria. Matt Barnes, NBA player and her fiance is a mediocre player. So the notion of the other women being jealous of their relationship maybe b a bit much but her believing they have the ideal family is where I really find flaw. I understand that all NBA players do not have Lebron and Kobe’s salary, but they have access to money, including Matt Barnes. So why are they engaged? If being pressed about having a lavish wedding is an issue, after having their second baby, I would think just signing the paper would be good enough. Personally, I think he is using her and she is just the current hotness. If something better comes along, he will leave her.
Until you say I do, you are a girlfriend with the promise of being a wife. This is why I feel that being engaged and being a wife are two totally different things and I observed that some women in general do not realize this. If you are committed, already playing house, why not go to the justice of the peace and sign on the dotted line?
For those who may not understand why people get engaged, from my experience people get engaged to set a date and plan the wedding and the aspects of combining their lives. If you are already in house, doing the laundry, sex on the regular and procreating, engaged seems to be a ‘gratification’ term. Saying I will marry you allows a person to remain ‘uncommitted’ while seeming committed. If one person decides to leave, the other would be left with only the memory and nothing else. (that beats the hell out of a prenuptial..lol)
I’ve actually entertained a conversation where a person argued that reaching a mutual agreement between the couple should be able to stand as marriage and of course I said no. It is my belief that signing the paper is an act of entitlement. Not just to money, but life itself. When a person place their name on that dotted line it means they will have a say in all the matters. On the contrary, if the paper is just a paper and it means absolutely nothing, why not sign it? Why not honor the person you love? What do you think….?
this article was written by….
Hailing from Missouri City, Texas( a suburb of Houston, TX) , Nik attends McNeese State where she is working on a dual mastersin Marketing and Communications. Aspiring to be an entertainment lawyer, Nik sharpens her ability to construct a great argument through casual debates, free lance writing and informal conversations. Often seen as versatile, Nik attributes her ability to adapt to her strange ear for music. “ I listen to everything… Hip Hop, Neo-Soul, Jazz, R&B, the real Soul music .”
Her dreams are as large as her heart. “Ultimately I want to be an icon. I am hoping to succeed in law so that I may pay for medical school and be able to give my services as a cardio vascular surgeon free of charge.”
Quote she lives by: “The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm…”
Tags: advice, basketball, Bride, love, marriage, relationships, women
