DOUBLE LIVES: TWO SIDES TO EVERY COIN!

May 6, 2010 Featured
Posted by Nikki

Picture this, you are madly in love with your S.O. He or she does everything that you want them to do. The bath is ran, dinner cooked, foot massages, romantic text messages; birthdays and anniversaries are never missed. In fact, whenever he or she comes over, they tidy your place or help you with your work. Spiritually they meet you . Physically and intellectually, you walk together. In the midst of it all, you don’t really have an issue or problem. Everything is A-Ok. But somewhere in this perfect world, you lack something. What you are  lacking is being supplied by this mysterious person. He/She knows your situation and agrees to the terms so long as they have a piece of you. You are flipping pancakes in the morning for your LOVE and are getting yours tossed on lunch breaks by Mr. or Mrs. Icog-NEGRO.  You endure love making with your LOVE anticipating the multi- climatic experience with your monsieur/ mistress.  At some points, you get grossly disgusted with your love wishing that he or she was your sideline.

Everything he or she does becomes a MAJOR problem and although you told your SIDELINE no feelings, you can’t help but to find concern in his/her life and how his/her days go. You lose your self and become these two people you can’t recognize. THE INVOLVED YOU and THE CHEATER. You justify your rendez vous’ with the idea that you aren’t being satisfied at home. And it is ok to creep as long as feelings aren’t involved. YOU never get caught. And for that you pat yourself on the back. This double life becomes a game of “catch me if you can”.  You manage to reply quickly to texts even when you are preoccupied and you still remember dates although the gifts are just objects without thought.

BULL right? Not exactly. ( Ha Gotcha!) Essence published an article on suburban women who led double lives. Each story appeared different in how they met their lovers, but they had the same story. It was an accidental meeting that seemed innocent. Each party was aware of the relationships/marriages and ‘respected’ them. But one text message and random e-mail led to another . Before you knew it, women were at Hotel ZA ZA making Karrine Stephans look like an angel. One wrong encounter led to another with each morsel of guilt being replaced with the justification of “I lack therefore I need and will get”. The coldest part is women left their men. Multi year marriages ended and one lady stated she didn’t want to end the affair nor be with her Sideline, she just wanted to end the marriage.

As I read the article I became infuriated. Primarily because I think cheating is a selfish man’s sport. If you need to be with someone else, why don’t you come out and say we need to split? Why lead a person on ?  Why go through the gymnastics of living a double life? As a person that is working on my second year in a relationship, I’d began to think , “what if my dude did this” or somehow I became one of these women? How would I feel or act and could there be a justifiable reason to cheat? Better yet what would hurt me more? Getting cheated on? Or Getting cheated on with someone of the same sex? POW!

-Nikki